i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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