I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
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