I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
