capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
