well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
