remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
