Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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