i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
