He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
