I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
