Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
