Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I bet he comes in French.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
