why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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