Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
