remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
