are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
NoShamevember. You game?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
