went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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