There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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