So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
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