You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
