i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I could fuck to npr.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
