A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
