I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize