True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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