beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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