i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
