is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize