Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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