and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
