I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Someone came in the potted fern
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
