Sry I called you an 8
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
