38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
