I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
We need a shit load of segways right now
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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