and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Randomize
