The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
