She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
