FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
