Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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