You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
thus making me awesome and them whores
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
