He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
