Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
zippers are such a cool invention
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
