my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
