I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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