She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
