sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
