I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
