The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
