my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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