please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
