Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
