That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
