I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
