I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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