Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
