I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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