this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
