so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
