The maid of honor just puked.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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