And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
