Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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