Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
